Husband divorces wife for racking up $45K in debt from 7 different credit cards after he paid off the $60K in debt she had when he met her: 'She even opened a card in MY name.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 18, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

It's easy to look at Dave Ramsey and say he's a little out of touch. I would think that a guy who makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a month telling other people what to do with their money would be not only out of touch but a little bit scammy. I find his idea that you don't need a credit card (or a credit score) to function in the world to be blatantly untrue. I know a guy who took his financial literacy course in high school and had a credit score under 100 by the time he graduated college because Dave Ramsey told him he didn't need a credit card. 

Still, his advice is not all phony. He has helped so many people get out of debt because he teaches basic, common-sense financial tips that most people's parents don't bother to tell them. Who knew that if you saved more money, you had more money? Or that paying off debt would improve your life in the long run? 

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  • One of the biggest things Dave advocates for is not enabling financially irresponsible people. The husband in this story decided that enough was enough when, after spending $60K paying off his wife's past debts, she racked up $45K more in credit card debt. If he paid a cent of that, it would've been classic enabling. 

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    via Sincerely Media (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for divorcing my wife after she went into massive debt again?

    I (34M) met my wife (32F) 5 years ago. She was $60K in debt from credit cards, personal loans, etc. A while ago after we got serious, I helped her get a consolidation loan from consumer credit card relief. I actually paid it all off on her behalf through them. Monthly payments, the whole deal.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 03
    Things were great for about 2 years. We got married, bought house, life was good. a
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
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    Cheezburger Image 10481982976
    via Abby Rurenko

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Then I started noticing packages arriving daily. She got secretive about the mail. Bills were being hidden. When I finally confronted her, turns out she'd racked up another $45K in debt across 7 different cards.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
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    Bromi Design™ Bromi
    via Aaron Doucett

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I was devastated. We tried counseling (financial and marriage), but she kept spending behind my back. She even opened a card in MY name.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 08
    I filed for divorce last month. Now her family is blowing up my phone saying I'm an a_h_le for abandoning her "when she needs help most."
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 09
    AITAH for walking away? I feel like I tried everything and she betrayed my trust repeatedly.
    via u/Old-Donkey8984
  • 10
    chocopuffxo no her family can go f pay the debt if they really care themselves they can help
    via u/chocopuffxo
  • 11
    Astrava_Let7028 Haha actually! OP has already shouldered significant financial burden by paying off her previous debt. It's unfair from them to expect him to do it again
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  • 12
    akcutter He likely will be partially responsible for the second pile of debt too. Unfortunately that's how divorce is.
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    Reasonable_Bat_3178 At least he is limiting his exposure this time.
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  • 14
    abritinthebay Assuming he files a police report for the fraudulent card... probably not.
    via u/abritinthebay
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    comfortablynumb15 Yeah, the first SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS was OP being supportive. Anything after that is EX-Wife's choice and responsibility. And that's without going into the outright fraud of opening a card in OP's name.
    via u/comfortablynumb15
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    Over_Cranberry1365 Even tho OP was able and willing to pay off the consumer loan for her, they would have been better served by doing financial counseling then, and having a plan that involved her making payments as well, as much as she could reasonably afford. What she learned was that spending wildly above your means doesn't cause any discomfort if you can get someone else to pay it off.
    via u/Over_Cranberry1365
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    There are lots of reasons that people overspend. Differences in financial outlook and management is one of the leading causes of broken relationships/marriages. OP needs to get a good lawyer to help extricate himself from this marriage without it costing him another significant loss. May also need to file fraud charges over a credit card opened in his name.
    via u/Over_Cranberry1365
  • 18
    Novaluna_02 Her family should try paying her debt off and see if you're the AH or they are 45k, thats crazy 60k debt another
    via u/Novaluna_02
  • 19
    Plus-Implement This ^^ also she cheated on you financially and given that you are married, her debt is now your debt. Tell her family if they want to help they can contribute to paying off her debt, that will confirm your stance, they won't help. Be done before the 10 year mark. Google it what happens then. Get a good attorney and freeze your accounts now. Don't tell her your are doing that as it can get worst. Stop being nice, she didn't care so you stop caring, file charges if you don't you wi
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  • 20
    Fridaybird 1985 Run don't walk. I worked with a guy that went through this and it took him years to get out from under the debt.
    via u/Fridaybird1985
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    Fair_Connection_8346 Anyway, she just didn't make a mistake, she repeatedly betrayed your trust even after you bailed her out of a significant debt!
    via u/Fair_Connection_8346
  • 22
    Silent_Question0284 NTA, you're not a bank, and financial stresses especially in this day and age are tough enough without having a lying, deceitful wife adding too it.
    via u/Silent_Question0284
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    ChanmanAlt_41 Dave Ramsey talks about this. It's called financial infidelity and it's a very serious betrayal. Her problem/addiction comes out as shopping. She's got deep rooted issues and is willing to wreck you financially instead of facing it. It's really sad, but if she won't change or get help I'm not sure what you can do.
    via u/ChanmanAlt_41
  • 24
    Known Witness3268 NTA, but this is a form of addiction. She needs her own therapy-this is about more than your relationship. It's about her mental health. And yes: her family can support her during this time jf you do not want to. Thanks ok. It's your life too and this is an exhausting path. I wish spending addictions were as recognized as drug or alcol addictions.
    via u/Known_Witness3268
  • 25
    WasltSomethinglsaid7 NTA. Her being $60k in debt when you met her should have been a dealbreaker. You tried and learned that you cannot "fix" them. You made the right decision by cutting your losses and distancing yourself from her.
    via u/WasltSomethinglsaid7

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divorced credit cards credit spending credit card spending money money problems wife husband debt pay divorce family payment money betrayal
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